May 9, 20184 min read

Daddy, do you love me?

You may have never verbally asked this question, but I can't help to think that everyone at some point in our lives have asked this question in our minds, at least unconsciously, even, or especially those who have never met their father.

"My daddy loves me!"

Some people have thought this, some have assumed it, some have never believed it, some know for a fact this is not true. But how does your relationship with your parents, especially your father affect you? Way more than you can ever imagine.

For the Christian, we know that God is our "Heavenly Father", but I would think that not many would be able to say that God is their affectionate daddy that loves to embrace and wants to spend lots of time with me, showering me with his love. Think about that.

In fact, just reading that last phrase would just gross out some people. But why? It's probably because they cannot imagine their biological fathers being that way - maybe some can, in my case, if you know my dad, it would be a little weird. lol.

For me, though I know my dad and mom loves me, but their love was not and still is not perfect, it was never good enough to satisfy the desire for parental love deep in my soul. Did they love me? Of course they did, they still do, very very much. I have no doubt about that. But their love was also tainted with sin, as my love for my kids are also tainted by sin, so I would never be able to love my 4 daughters enough, and my love would not be perfect or selfless.

Today, Day 3 of City to City Asia (in Taiwan), we talked about the idea of "sonship" (or daughtership if you're a girl). We talked about how our relationships both help and hinder us from understanding God's perfect fatherly love for us. All the negative memories of our up-bringing and short-comings on the part of our parents just scream wrong perceptions of God as our Father out to our hearts - and we believe them.

Here's an example:

My parents believed in me so much (good thing) that I feared disappointing them (bad thing). My parents told me, and believed that if I put my mind and heart to anything, there was nothing I couldn't do. I believed it...for a little while. Then I started seeing myself fail in both little things and big things. I didn't want my parents to know because I didn't want to disappoint them, so I started to sabotage my own success and lie to them and make excuses.

How does this affect my view of God?

I know God loves me as a father, I know that he doesn't expect me to be perfect, BUT I still feel like I need to perfect and I need to not fail in any ministries or I will be a disappointment to him. See the connection. What I know about God is not the way actually I see our relationship - I see him as I saw my parents.

This is what I really say to myself, "I know that God loves me unconditionally, but I'm not a good enough son if I fail to make him proud of me." If you're Asian, you may have had that same feeling. This feeling sucks. It pushes you away from your parents, and you end up pushing your parents away from you.

How does this affect my relationship with God?

To me, God is really a Father with great expectations for me, so great that I will never be able to make him proud of me, to do his name justice, and for him to tell everyone that I am his son.

Do you see how this works? It's wrong though, this is not God, this is a made up image of God and a self inflicted wound and fear that prevents me from truly knowing him and experiencing his love in my life!

But there is a solution - it's called the Gospel. His name is JESUS.

Jesus lived a perfect a life, and even before he did any miracles or became a famous teacher, he was baptized and was affirmed by his Father, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." But Jesus was just getting started, the expectations were so high, impossibly high. He was expected to first live perfectly, then to die perfect.

In his death he was to become as if he were ME - taking the punishment and full rejection of the perfectly holy Father who holds the highest expectations and moral standards that is simply impossible for sinful Justin to keep. Jesus was to be punished as if it was actually Justin that failed miserably to measure up to the Holy Father's standards. He took it all as if he were ME.

But why would Jesus do this for me?

So when the Father looks at me, he doesn't say, "You poor excuse for my image bearer! You quitter! You loser! You shame me!" Instead, when the most holy perfect righteous Father looks at me, knowing all my failures and faults, would turn his face towards me, smile, and say, "This is my beloved son, in whom I as well pleased"...I now have the status with God the Father as Jesus has with him! The righteousness of Jesus wraps me and covers me like the whitest of white garments that can ever be imagined.